How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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