"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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