She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
So. Much. Porn.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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