take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
