I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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