I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
