so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
