I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
