That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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