Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
