dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
