On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
