So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize