you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
