Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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