i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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