Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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