shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
MIDGETS
????
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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