And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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