I accidentally burped into my bong.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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