I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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