I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
