What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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