Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
