i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
