matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
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