Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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