Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
