I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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