you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
