i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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