Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
