My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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