Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
