dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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