I'm really into asian looking animals
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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