Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
