what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
