you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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