I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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