READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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