Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
