please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize
