FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I DEMAND FORESKIN
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
