Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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