try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
