just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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