is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
