Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Randomize
