whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize