no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just invented taco cereal.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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