I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
